You Can Quote Me On This…

So, every now and then, when I think I’ve said something profound, I save it to notes in my phone. These little rubies were unearthed (along with several grocery lists & passwords) during a long-awaited iPhone cleanse.

Pillows are like people – some are just sorrier than others

Bbq Pringles with vodka/cranberry juice tastes like vomit from the flu virus

What is? Why do? So, what’s with men and BBQ?

God doesn’t punish – We punish ourselves. He’s pretty chill

Never sit in the victim chair no matter how tired your legs get

A tooth ache can only be compared with an ice pick to the middle ear, I imagine

At the end of the day, true love can definitely be measured by small, round potatoes in the crock pot

It’s true! Google & YouTube are Mom & Dad to a lot of people

Take it from me, a lisp, pigeon toes and scoliosis can be self-corrected. Wait, right? (Standing up in mirror to check).

Ah, girly, cover up your body and let your inner beauty try to escape

That’s funny sh*% right there! Get out for not laughing. Get out of your own house! And shut your front mouth