Month: May 2018

Fun with Chickens

Published / by benedictgirl / Leave a Comment

I don’t know if you do this, but I assign chicken themes or titles, if you will, to days of the week (or sometimes even certain weeks of the month). For example, when I tell you “Today was a chicken-truck day,” that means I thought about running out in front of a chicken truck at least once today.

If I tell you, “Today was a chicken-peck day,” that means I’ve reached my threshold of human interactions today and liken the experience to being pecked to death by a bunch of chickens.

“Chicken-shit day” – I put up with an unreasonable amount of shit today.

“Chicken-coop day” – I need to get out of the house. I’m feeling “cooped” up.

“Chicken-pox day” – I’m sick.

You get the point…

I’m not weird, I just think the word “chicken” is funny and can sometimes be used as a buffer of sorts when truthfully communicating negative experiences… kind of a modified behavior modification tool. (But please don’t blame chickens. In general, chickens are actually pretty decent people.) I just thought if we’re going to be friends, and you’re going to read my posts, you might enjoy learning some chicken references.

In fact, here are a few to get you started:

Chicken-feed (groceries) – “Hey, kids, we’re out of chicken-feed, I’m headed to the supermarket.”

Chicken-skin (goosebumps) – “Dang, baby, I got chicken-skin! Can we please adjust the thermostat?”

Chicken-beak (mouth) – “Oh, please, just shut your chicken-beak.”

Chicken-wing (insignificant) – “Girl, that ain’t no thing butta’ chicken-wing.”

Chicks (kids) – “I have to pick up my chicks at the gym after basketball practice.”

Chicken-egg (egg) – “I’ll have a chicken-egg over-easy with my bacon, please.”