Eat McDonald’s Sometimes – But Now While You’re Driving & Texting

I hope this blog helps to cure my chronic pessimism. I also hope this blog helps to clear out some of the noise in my brain. Think of this blog as my self-imposed behavior modification tool.

I’m in pursuit of optimism.

Okay, it’s like cleaning out a closet:  I will go through and pull out the wools, 90s era  cat-lady-looking sweaters (Curt Cobain, how I miss you) jeans I paid $100 for at the Buckle when I was 27 (that will NEVER fit me again) or any article of clothing/shoe/handbag that brings me a sad memory, then I will shove those into a black garbage bag and asked Hubbs to drop it off at Good Will or a dumpster or, “I don’t know what to do with it, just get rid of it.”

Then I will stare into my near-empty closet, feel a shopping trip coming on then frolic to the mall and max out my Belk card 🙂

I have been a “half-empty” type my whole life. So blogging my cynical, critical view of the world without “shredding” others or humanity as a whole will be a baby step. I will try very hard not to dismember the world and shove torsos, heads, legs & forearms into black garbage bags and drop them off random places.

In other words, I’ll be on my best behavior. I’ll be sensitive about things. I’ll be empathetic (somewhat). Here goes…

What a crap is going on with McDonalds? Where are they at 2 a.m. anymore? America is dying. The repeated negative PR assaults on McDonalds is proof people suck, man. I know it’s fast food. I know it’s greasy. I know it’s bad for your body to eat too much of it, but seriously, if you will eat a hotdog at the ballpark or from the supermarket and will not eat McDonald’s chicken nuggets, you’re just a hypocrite. For craps sake they offer freakin’ apple wedges now with Happy Meals! What more do you want from these guys? I love McDonalds and you should too.

And why does everyone eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time every day? It’s just creepy. Why does everyone do everything at exactly the same time?

Why do people plan beach vacations during the hottest freakin’ times of the year? Wouldn’t it make more sense to travel to sunny, hot places during the cold winter months? If children miss 4 or 5 days of school in the fall they will not fail at life because of it.

And have you noticed how scary drivers are these days? It’s getting worse and worse every year. I swear it is. Not only are people crazy anyway from work stress, they’re cracked out on coffee or 5-hour-energy drinks, scurrying at lunch hour like starving rats at a theme-park, cramming the drive-through (of every freakin’ fast-food restaurant EXCEPT McDonalds). Speeding, texting, eating and pumping cortisol.

Okay, so here’s my positive spin….

Whatever, man, it’s not my problem. I feel better now.


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